downfalls

im pretty sure that i am completely incapable of hurting someone. no matter what the situation, im always the one getting hurt, it never fails. boys, friends, work, school, whatever. it always blows up in my face. my other downfall is attatchment. im incapable of not becoming attatched to people. even people i know i have no bussiness caring for. nonetheless, it breaks my heart to pieces. maybe i just need to toughen up and be an adult about things.

anyway, my current best friend has just decided to up and leave town and move to an area close to new orleans. just to put this in perspective--thats 12 hours away from here. i dont mean to sound selfish but this is the 3RD time this has happened to me!! first my best friend from middle school moves away to college and i havent had a decent conversation with him in well over 2 years. he seems content in his shallow life now. im pretty sure he doesnt miss me one bit. next, my best friend from high school decides to move to another continent. a cold, northern one. that was really difficult bc she was my best friend in the entire world and new every single detail of my existence. of course im still able to talk to her via facebook and such but its a bit different from txting her every 20 mins when i want to tell her something to a facebook message once a week. when she left there was a big whole in my "friendship" part in my life and that was very difficult to learn to live with. now i have an amazing new best friend. not new in a cronicalogical sensee bc weve know eachother for a long time, but new bc weve become so much closer in the past couple months. now that shes just going to dissapear from my life just like the first 2 its a very odd feeling. i know i have to let her make her own decisions about her life but i really dont want her to leave. i guess well just have to see how this one turns out. who knows, maybe she'll come back. maybe not.

ink'd

ive been thinking of getting a tattoo for a while ive just never been able to make up my mind. well ive know that ive wanted what is commonly referred to as a "rib piece" (a tattoo that is usally a poem or lines that go vertically down your side or ribs.)for a while. heres my best idea so far:

L'amour est patient, l'amour est gentil.
L'amour endure toutes les choses.

it says "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures all things." which is actually part of the bible verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. its still just one of my ideas but i really like it. lemme know what you think?

we live in a beautiful world

today was valentines day. it had a rocky start and a rocky finish but all in all i can say it was wonderful. this is the 3rd valentines ive spent with my wonderful other half. we accidentally started celebrating on friday (2 days ago) bc he brought out on of my present and demanded i opened it bc they needed to be refridgerated lmao hes pretty much adorable like that; it ended up being a box of chocolate-covered strawberries from the fudgery! yum! so then he kida got ahold of the gift bag that held my presents and i gave in and let him opem them. i got him 2 movies, an xbox game, and some candy. he was so into the excitement he gave me my other present -- a 1 ct diamond tennis bracelet!!! i was so shocked! its so sparkly, ive worn it all weekend lol after that we ate, watched movies, snuggled, napped, and simply just spent the whole weekend enjoying each others company. sunday afternoon we had the best dinner ever at red lobster; never a dissapointment when you eat there lol although i went a little crazy a few times (i can blaim it on pms i guess) and we fought a little bit, making up is always worth it after a dissagreement ;) i can honestly say im dating the most amazing man in the world. i think of him as truely a blessing to my life. everything about him is perfect and he completes everything i need...and want, forever. pinky promise ;)

the buried life

have you seen the show called "the buried life"?? well basically its a show where a group of guys make a list of all the things they want to do before they die. i find it pretty interesting. heres a tentative list of mine (in no perticular order), luckily i can say that ive done a few of them :)

[X] attend a Lady Gaga concert
[X] attend a Paramore concert
[X] finish the Twilight saga (4 books, 2,444 pages)
[X] have at least one other person fall in love with Twilight
[X] be in a tabloid mag/website
[ ] donate to Locks-of-Love
[ ] own a wiener dog
[X] start a blog
[X] get a job in retail
[ ] become "the boss" somewhere
[ ] own a "dream car"
[X] snorkel
[X] see a sea turtle in the wild
[X] kayak in the ocean
[ ] get a tattoo
[ ] get something pierced other then my ears
[X] rescue an animal from the pound/shelter
[X] visit Hawaii
[ ] visit Paris
[ ] visit some part of Asia
[X] visit San Fransisco
[X] visit LA/Hollywood
[X] visit Atlanta
[ ] visit New York
[ ] visit New Orleans
[ ] visit Las Vegas
[ ] visit Forks, WA
[ ] visit Norway
[X] graduated from high school
[X] experience "college life" (dorms, clubs, frat houses, etc)
[X] join a sorority
[ ] obtain an Associates Degree in Mass Communications
[ ] obtain a Masters degree in something similar
[ ] lease my own apartment
[ ] find the love of my life
[ ] get proposed to!
[ ] get married!
[ ] purchase a home/property/etc

dust in the wind

i hate spending so much time worring, caring, wondering, simply put --thinking about people. it often crosses my mind if theyll ever even realize that you care so much about them. the one that feels like a dagger to me is when ever im out and i see something or hear a song, etc, and one of my friends will cross my mind. it makes me miss them for like 2 seconds then i realize how long its been since ive seen that perticular person let alone talked to them. does that make me a good person for caring? or just a over-emotional, worrying do-nothing whiney baby? ...just a thought.