downfalls

im pretty sure that i am completely incapable of hurting someone. no matter what the situation, im always the one getting hurt, it never fails. boys, friends, work, school, whatever. it always blows up in my face. my other downfall is attatchment. im incapable of not becoming attatched to people. even people i know i have no bussiness caring for. nonetheless, it breaks my heart to pieces. maybe i just need to toughen up and be an adult about things.

anyway, my current best friend has just decided to up and leave town and move to an area close to new orleans. just to put this in perspective--thats 12 hours away from here. i dont mean to sound selfish but this is the 3RD time this has happened to me!! first my best friend from middle school moves away to college and i havent had a decent conversation with him in well over 2 years. he seems content in his shallow life now. im pretty sure he doesnt miss me one bit. next, my best friend from high school decides to move to another continent. a cold, northern one. that was really difficult bc she was my best friend in the entire world and new every single detail of my existence. of course im still able to talk to her via facebook and such but its a bit different from txting her every 20 mins when i want to tell her something to a facebook message once a week. when she left there was a big whole in my "friendship" part in my life and that was very difficult to learn to live with. now i have an amazing new best friend. not new in a cronicalogical sensee bc weve know eachother for a long time, but new bc weve become so much closer in the past couple months. now that shes just going to dissapear from my life just like the first 2 its a very odd feeling. i know i have to let her make her own decisions about her life but i really dont want her to leave. i guess well just have to see how this one turns out. who knows, maybe she'll come back. maybe not.