pinky promise

for some unknown reason i jumped ship on my blog this summer and that makes me sad. this used to be my favorite place and somehow my love of ranting into cyberspace has left me. in all actuality, school has taken up the majority of my time. but this is my pinky promise to you beloved blog...i will always love you.

VOLunteering

so i just got my "official" acceptance letter from the university of tennessee. im not extremely surprised because ive heard that they pretty much let anybody whos transferring in. plus ive known for a long time that i was going to have to go to school there but i havent really given it much thought. i have alot of friends that go there but its going to be a whole other mind set to think that it will now be MY school too; not just running around at the UT parties but ill actually be part of everything. as in theyll all be MY classmates and not just "hi & bye" strangers. i guess i wont feel like such an intruder anymore since ill have a right to be running around campas and taking up a parking space... this is so weird to me. and somewhat overwhelming...ughh.

teddy bear

so i have this really bad habit of wanting things that i dont need. no matter what they are. maybe its bc they make me feel better. sometimes they make me feel better about myself. sometimes they comfort me. sometimes they make me feel sexy or confident. mostly they make me feel secure. like a lucky charm. or loved, like a teddy bear. it usually makes me selfish and i dont want to give them up or give them back. sometimes it sucks.

ill write more about this later, i just wanted to jot the thought down before i lost it forever.

airplanes

"can we pretend we're airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right"

today is the first official day of summer for me (in my mind) bc yesterday i took my last final. im officially a junior in college now so that depressing. sometimes i feel like a shooting star. or should i say falling star?? lol i just feel like in running all the time but i never really know exactly which direction im headed in. half of me wants to press on in my life and freaking get out there and make something of my life and really get it started. the other half of me just wants to kick back and party and have a good time with my friends. sometimes it just feels good to just do nothing with good people. these nights are usually the best for me. i love just getting in my car and going somewhere. it doesnt even matter where you go or what you end up doing as long as youre doing it w your friends it will always be a good time. got i sound like a hallmark card haha.

after my final yesterday i headed to the lake with some friends. newly made friends but good people none the less. when i go to the lake its usually on a boat or something, im not a fan of murky waters. but somehow i ended up splashing around in it for something crazy like 5 hours lol i had so much fun it was ridiculous. im a little sore from hanging onto the bouye thing (sp?) and my shoulders are a little toasty but its starting to turn into a lovely tan bc i keep moisturizing it lol after that we headed to the brewery and chowed down on some amazing buffalo chicken pizza (tuesday is half price pizza night! holla!) so that was delicious to say the least. then the house band started playing. afterwards i had great conversations with my friend garrett. sometimes it good to just sit around and do nothing. it good to hear how other people feel about things. especially when you want to hear what they have to say and you can respect it. overall it was a pretty good day. i hope this saga of events will happen again, preferably next week? lol i hope so.

for certain

10 things i know for certain:

1)i love summertime and all that it envolves
2)i miss driving my red mustang
3)tanning makes me feel skinnier
4)im a shopaholic
5)my favorite accessories are statement earrings, cocktail ring, bangles, scarves
6)dancing is a wonderful workout
7)a night spent danicng with my best friend is a night well spent
8)i enjoy my ability to make new friends
9)im going to pass all my clases this semester
10)my fantasticly tropical Key Largo vacation is just around the corner.

so therefore, life is good again

oakley, shmoakley

although i love my current job at the gap dearly, ive decided that im going to pursue finding a second job, mainly just for the summer tho so i can make some extra money. recently theyve added a new store in the mall, Oakley Vault. i went into it a few days after they open. needless to say...i fell in love. the store was darkly lite and everything was glossy black and shiny grey metal. while they do sell clothing, they mostly specialize in ...DUH oakley sunglasses haha the store was filled with glass cases with downward shinning lights that make all the sunglasses sparkle and shine. they were all calling to me. it was great. a few days later i finally worked up the courage to go ask for a job application. that was on a sunday. i filled it out and turned it in on the following monday. i talked briefly with the store manager and althought we didnt have an offical interview, it seemed as if we hit it off pretty good. he said he'd be calling me...ok?? so wtf does that mean???? so i let exactly one week go by and getting a job there has been ALL i can think about!! its driving me absolutely insane!! so after much convincing from my mother i decided to go back in for a "follow up" i guess you could say, bc i never got a call back and i was about to loose my mind. so long story short -- theyre not really hiring any more and dont plan on hiring anyone else til june. so long awesome easy job in a beautiful sleek store. all that hoping and daydreaming went right out the window...i held my head up high all the way to the car. once i shut the door i sat there and cried for a few minutes. i guess i can always hope that theyll call me back when the summer hours pick up. maybe ill be over it by then. who knows.

so this was my morning...

so my morning was a little rufff. as all the faithful students prepare for finals in 2 weeks you can only imagine all the things im trying to catalog in my head. overwhelming, yes. fun, def not. and let me just preface this by saying yesterday i was 3/4 of the way to school on the interstate when my dad calls to let me know my prof just left a message on our answering machine to tell me she had cancelled class. so you can imagine how i feel when this happens for the 2nd day in a row. after flying down the interstate, hiking across campus, and running up the stairs to my building, i catch my breath. i reach for the door knob only to discover its locked and the lights are off. as some people know math is my least favorite subject so i thouhgt it would only be fitting to synapse my morning with a math-style word problem:

"Chapter Review 1.) a)Lindsey lives approx 50 mins from campus. if shes running 15 mins late and traveling on the interstate of a speed between 75 and 85, what is the likelyhood she'll make it to class on time? b)if her prof emails her to say he cancelled class 20 mins before it starts, what is the likelyhood Lindsey will receive this email? c)predict all possible outcomes."

yeah, thats what i thought too...fail.

exibition

and by "exibition" i really mean "EX AMBITION," as in mine! my ex boyfriends that is. bleck.there must have been a shift in the universe recently or something because ive been getting an insane amount of unwanted attention from them lately. the first situation was from a boy thats not exactly an ex, but still a milestone. i havent talked to him since he went off to school like 2 years ago. so i post this super dorky picture (and may i add very photoshopped) of me being a "little monster" with a dumbass lady gaga style (hot pink) hair hairbow on top of my head. i could understand if there was any kind of random photo comments on that one. but for him to comment that i "looked good" in it thru me for a loop :/ another was a series of texts from an ex that i havent talked to in a couple months. he texted me "just heard t.i. 'motivation' on my ipod and thougth of you lol" wtf? how does that song have any connection to me or correlation to our past (thank god its in the past!) relationship?? he said it reminded him of a certain time frame in our relationship -omg ill just blush now and get it over with- anyway, moving on from that because no further explaination is needed lol then today while i was at work i had another exboyfriend come into the store to visit me. he also works in the mall so its not that creepy, but still unusual. he used to drop by all the time but hasnt been in since like the holiday season 09. so it was random to say the least. i wonder what all these encounters in my life all of a sudden mean?? i wonder what the future will hold? hmmm.

miranda

so i know this isn't weird or anything. i mean, i know every body's got one -- an alter ego that is! even if you think the idea is really silly and you're convinced that you don't have one, you really do. if you've ever done anything super daring or crazy, something "out of character", that was your alter ego shining through. have you ever said something to someone (ex:a super flirty txt to a boy, bitching out the pretty girl, tell your parents to suck it), something that you would have never otherwise had the guts to do, things that take extra courage. i use mine when im nervous and unsure of whats about to happen. i use mine when im dancing in clubs. i use mine when im drunk and having a good time. i use mine when im with my friends, cracking the first joke. i use mine on my bf, he thinks its just my 'skills'. i use mine for my best friend when she needs the confidence that i dont really have, but i dont mind to lend it to her. i use mine when im out shopping or doing something by myself like walking across campus. its gives me a little extra 'oomph' and i dont feel as stupid. when this entry first crossed my mind today, i was jamming to Miranda Lambert down the interstate. listening to her music gives me this short-lived jolt of confidence and excitement. all her songs are so empowering, singing about conquering love, conquering broken heartedness, catching a cheating boyfriend, confronting hypocrites, and anything else that just makes her feel good about herself. i like it. with Miranda i feel like i can conquer anything. next friday night i think Miranda and i will hit the town. well, maybe just Miranda ;)

downfalls

im pretty sure that i am completely incapable of hurting someone. no matter what the situation, im always the one getting hurt, it never fails. boys, friends, work, school, whatever. it always blows up in my face. my other downfall is attatchment. im incapable of not becoming attatched to people. even people i know i have no bussiness caring for. nonetheless, it breaks my heart to pieces. maybe i just need to toughen up and be an adult about things.

anyway, my current best friend has just decided to up and leave town and move to an area close to new orleans. just to put this in perspective--thats 12 hours away from here. i dont mean to sound selfish but this is the 3RD time this has happened to me!! first my best friend from middle school moves away to college and i havent had a decent conversation with him in well over 2 years. he seems content in his shallow life now. im pretty sure he doesnt miss me one bit. next, my best friend from high school decides to move to another continent. a cold, northern one. that was really difficult bc she was my best friend in the entire world and new every single detail of my existence. of course im still able to talk to her via facebook and such but its a bit different from txting her every 20 mins when i want to tell her something to a facebook message once a week. when she left there was a big whole in my "friendship" part in my life and that was very difficult to learn to live with. now i have an amazing new best friend. not new in a cronicalogical sensee bc weve know eachother for a long time, but new bc weve become so much closer in the past couple months. now that shes just going to dissapear from my life just like the first 2 its a very odd feeling. i know i have to let her make her own decisions about her life but i really dont want her to leave. i guess well just have to see how this one turns out. who knows, maybe she'll come back. maybe not.

ink'd

ive been thinking of getting a tattoo for a while ive just never been able to make up my mind. well ive know that ive wanted what is commonly referred to as a "rib piece" (a tattoo that is usally a poem or lines that go vertically down your side or ribs.)for a while. heres my best idea so far:

L'amour est patient, l'amour est gentil.
L'amour endure toutes les choses.

it says "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures all things." which is actually part of the bible verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. its still just one of my ideas but i really like it. lemme know what you think?

we live in a beautiful world

today was valentines day. it had a rocky start and a rocky finish but all in all i can say it was wonderful. this is the 3rd valentines ive spent with my wonderful other half. we accidentally started celebrating on friday (2 days ago) bc he brought out on of my present and demanded i opened it bc they needed to be refridgerated lmao hes pretty much adorable like that; it ended up being a box of chocolate-covered strawberries from the fudgery! yum! so then he kida got ahold of the gift bag that held my presents and i gave in and let him opem them. i got him 2 movies, an xbox game, and some candy. he was so into the excitement he gave me my other present -- a 1 ct diamond tennis bracelet!!! i was so shocked! its so sparkly, ive worn it all weekend lol after that we ate, watched movies, snuggled, napped, and simply just spent the whole weekend enjoying each others company. sunday afternoon we had the best dinner ever at red lobster; never a dissapointment when you eat there lol although i went a little crazy a few times (i can blaim it on pms i guess) and we fought a little bit, making up is always worth it after a dissagreement ;) i can honestly say im dating the most amazing man in the world. i think of him as truely a blessing to my life. everything about him is perfect and he completes everything i need...and want, forever. pinky promise ;)

the buried life

have you seen the show called "the buried life"?? well basically its a show where a group of guys make a list of all the things they want to do before they die. i find it pretty interesting. heres a tentative list of mine (in no perticular order), luckily i can say that ive done a few of them :)

[X] attend a Lady Gaga concert
[X] attend a Paramore concert
[X] finish the Twilight saga (4 books, 2,444 pages)
[X] have at least one other person fall in love with Twilight
[X] be in a tabloid mag/website
[ ] donate to Locks-of-Love
[ ] own a wiener dog
[X] start a blog
[X] get a job in retail
[ ] become "the boss" somewhere
[ ] own a "dream car"
[X] snorkel
[X] see a sea turtle in the wild
[X] kayak in the ocean
[ ] get a tattoo
[ ] get something pierced other then my ears
[X] rescue an animal from the pound/shelter
[X] visit Hawaii
[ ] visit Paris
[ ] visit some part of Asia
[X] visit San Fransisco
[X] visit LA/Hollywood
[X] visit Atlanta
[ ] visit New York
[ ] visit New Orleans
[ ] visit Las Vegas
[ ] visit Forks, WA
[ ] visit Norway
[X] graduated from high school
[X] experience "college life" (dorms, clubs, frat houses, etc)
[X] join a sorority
[ ] obtain an Associates Degree in Mass Communications
[ ] obtain a Masters degree in something similar
[ ] lease my own apartment
[ ] find the love of my life
[ ] get proposed to!
[ ] get married!
[ ] purchase a home/property/etc

dust in the wind

i hate spending so much time worring, caring, wondering, simply put --thinking about people. it often crosses my mind if theyll ever even realize that you care so much about them. the one that feels like a dagger to me is when ever im out and i see something or hear a song, etc, and one of my friends will cross my mind. it makes me miss them for like 2 seconds then i realize how long its been since ive seen that perticular person let alone talked to them. does that make me a good person for caring? or just a over-emotional, worrying do-nothing whiney baby? ...just a thought.